Probably my favorite part about Summer is the Golden Hour. The time when the sun hangs heavy in the sky and makes everything seem to glow, casting long shadows and calling out the lightning bugs. The cicadas begin to emerge for the evening to sing us lullabies and remind us that we’ve put in a good days work. Time to rest, reflect and thank God for bringing us through it all.
It reminds me of my childhood when I could stay out and play in the dirt, ride my bike for hours and always seem to be travelling to far off lands in my mind while spinning only circles. I could be only a few houses down from my own and still feel like I was on the cusp of the biggest adventure. Only when I heard the sound of my mother’s voice calling me in for a bath would I ever go home.
I’ve had the worst writer’s block lately. Mostly it’s because I’ve been so busy with life changes and well, life in general. Whoever said Summer was lazy surely wasn’t a 40 year old mama. Life is just full. Abundantly so. But I tend to get stuck in a routine. Lately I think it’s been more of a rut.
If you’ve read my blog at all this year you know I’ve been struggling with maintaining Joy in my life. Not happiness. Fruit of the Spirit, Joy. I’m not sure where exactly I lost it. Somewhere between hospital stays, overcoming heartbreak and just plain Life’s bad news. Cancer. Divorce. More cancer. And change. I really don’t like change.
So tonight I couldn’t take staring at this blank screen a moment longer. The Golden Hour beckoned for me to come out and simply enjoy a moment to reflect. I grabbed my phone to be able to listen to music as I headed out the door and down the path to the Greenway behind my house.
Music and nature. The perfect combination.
The moon was already high in the sky, though the Sun was only teasing the horizon. Accepting of all the heavy rain these last several days, the creek bubbled and the current swiftly wove it’s way through the grass. Dragonflies darted and danced flirting with me as I walked along the path. And the heavy drape of Jasmine covered the air with it’s sweet and peculiar scent.
Ah. Summer! There you are with your pink and orange Sunsets and barefoot days!
I couldn’t help myself. I quickly set my music to the hymm that I seem to find myself only whispering these days during my quiet time. When I have nothing else to pray, I find myself drifting to the old familiar lyrics.
Oh, Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder consider all the worlds thy hands have made…
Have you ever found yourself lost in a moment of pure…Joy? Considering all the works thy hands have made. The Sun lighting everything ablaze. The bluest sky decorated with the purest white clouds. The moon dangling there oh, so faithful and silent. Every detail to the fish in the stream to the pair of mallard ducks flying above my head. Every bit of it is perfectly orchestrated and on display for me to see.
In that one small moment all of that was just for me. No one else was in that space. No one else had the privilege of that same display. It was all just for me.
For me to find some joy.
Joy in the moment right there. How small I felt when taking it all in. A glimpse of Heaven and His hand controlling the Universe.
But it was fuel for another day. It was a source of Joy, abiding in Him in that way. And just like my mother used to when I was a child, it made me unafraid of when He will one day call me home. Because, what joy will fill my heart!
When Christ shall come
With shout of acclamation
And take me home
What joy shall fill my heart…