I have to give up on loving my children. I have tried since before they were born to love them well, but I just can’t do it. You would think it would be easy to love such a sweet and perfect gift. You would think that the adorable way they mispronounced “breakfast” as “bref-tist” every morning when they were toddlers would be enough for me to fall head over heels. Their contagious laughter should be enough for me to hold on and never let go.
But I have to let go.
The truth is they aren’t even mine. They are on loan from their Heavenly Father who has entrusted me to raise them for Him.
As much as I think I love my daughters, their Father loves them more. I can’t compete with that. No matter how many peanut butter sandwiches I cut into hearts, or how many notes I leave in their lunchboxes I can never love them as if they were my own.
Sometimes I wonder what He must have been thinking when He loaned them to me. Surely there would have been someone else better suited for the job. But the truth is that God knows what He’s doing and He never makes mistakes. So, if He thinks I am capable of raising His gorgeous Abby Faith and Lucy then it must be true. Of course, I cannot do it without His help and guidance, which I often fail to seek.
I wish I could do it. I wish I could love them like He does. I wish I could give them all the grace, mercy, love and patience they crave. But I can’t.
My only prayer is that they know that too and one day will seek His face over mine. That would be the ultimate reward for taking care of His kids here on Earth.
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