I woke up this morning, and it was raining. Again. Instead of cursing, I decided to ignore my alarm for a few more moments. I rolled over with grand delusions of not oversleeping and lied to myself about being able to wake up willingly in precisely 9 minutes.

Stop it. It could happen.

But, you’re right. I need to polish my skills.

I overslept. But no matter. My Senior can drive my Freshman to school. I can afford to lose a few minutes.

Except when I go to wake my Senior she tells me she’s sick. Again.

I begin to feel like the amount of rain is directly correlated to the amount of sickness we have had at our house this season, which is a lot.

And let me just say right here that it doesn’t matter how old your baby gets, it still affects your whole life when she’s sick. You ache to be able to make it better. You pray it’s short-lived. You block out thoughts of Coronavirus and try to keep calm.

And then you realize that now you are not only running late, you also have to drive your Freshman to school and you start to mentally recalculate your morning routine.

Finish putting on make-up. Make lunch. Dry hair. Pack my bag (don’t forget anything), and head out the door.

Unanswered texts. Miscommunications. Over communications.

Event planning. Birthday planning.

Worry over scholarships. Worry over finances.

Worry I am not enough.

I wasn’t having a bad morning, but it was all the little things nagging at me that made it all seem so big. It made me feel invisible and overwhelmed. I began to feel nothing short of desperate for time alone with Jesus. I really should not have hit that snooze button and opened my Bible instead.

So, I did what every normal person would do. I found an empty closet at work, locked myself inside it, sat down on I’m-not-sure-what, held my hands out and asked to receive whatever God was trying to give me today. He’s so gracious, Y’all. Because he gave me 1 John 5:14, which for all you YouVersion followers is the verse of the day.

This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.

I felt like I had so many things to ask for and I felt guilty just giving God my laundry list of requests. I was lacking the confidence to approach God.

<Sigh>

“God…I need…” I couldn’t go any further. I was stuck there in the dark.

And then the gentle Spiritual nudge came;

“I need my daughter to be sick, so that I can know what it will be like to thank You for her healing.

I need the disappointments,  so that I can find joy in You alone.

I need strain in my finances, so that I can be content only in You and Your abundance.

I need to feel invisible, so that I can be seen by You.

I need to be overwhelmed, so that I can realize that You are enough.

I need this day that isn’t going my way to help me understand that everything is going according to Your plan.

Help me to lean on that, Lord. Help me!”

I left the closet with a much clearer vision for the day’s mission. I was still weary and I still encountered a few bumps along the way. But I know that verse was placed before me today to remind me that God hears me. Even on those days when all I can do is pray a list of my needs.

The Lord gave me an unexpected assignment this year. That’s usually how He deals with me. Unexpectedly. I have trouble paying attention. So really, it’s not His fault! If I could just keep my eyes focused on Him maybe I could see things He’s tossing my way more clearly. But this was a pretty big assignment, and I didn’t see it coming at all. Those are the ones that are usually the most rewarding. The ones where he kinda just drops something in my lap so I don’t really have that much time to think about it so I don’t really have the time to be disobedient. Believe me, I really wanted to be disobedient on this one. Or at least I did after I had said yes!

I hate flying and the Lord is sending me to Asia. For those who didn’t make an A in geography class, that’s across the ocean. So, unless I am going to take 3 weeks on a cruise ship (I’d definitely say yes to that!) to get there, I gotta fly. In an airplane. For 24 hours. That’s 24 hours in an enclosed space sitting upright among strangers…over the ocean.

The thought of that alone has improved my prayer life exponentially. Did I mention that I hate flying?

I’ve been getting pretty anxious about it and trying not to think about it and honestly asking God to find a way to get me there without having to fly at all. I want to avoid the jet-lag and inevitable exhaustion that comes with getting no sleep on a plane. Again, that cruise ship sounds really nice. Or maybe he has the wrong girl. I always think he has the wrong girl when it comes to my assignments. Truth be told, I’d much rather spend my days playing games with toddlers or reading poetry. But that isn’t the calling on my life. I know it. Doesn’t mean I don’t try to deny it. But let’s face it, doing God’s work should scare us sometimes. That’s exactly how we learn to lean on him for provision, safety, trust and comfort among other things.

So, I’m a week out from boarding this plane and I have yet to find my way out of having to fly for 2 days. I am honestly, quite anxious. I started reading the Bible chronologically at the beginning of this year. Or maybe it was the middle of last year. I have done a pretty poor job of keeping up with it, so it could have even been 2 years ago.

I picked it back up this evening in what has been several futile attempts to calm my nerves lately. Just going through the motions, really. Come on. You’ve been there too.

So there I am reading in Isaiah 40. I’ve read it dozens of times before in my life. I’ve even used it to encourage others. But because God’s Word is alive, it still speaks at exactly the right time. The same words we read 2 years ago can mean something different today. My God told me that I will soar on wings like eagles–on an airplane. He will renew my strength throughout my journey. He’s already waiting for me in the skies and waiting for me when I reach my destination.  What a privilege! I will walk among the people He has sent me to serve and not grow faint.

I love when He speaks to me through Scripture. How has God used His Word to speak to you lately? Drop me a comment and let’s talk about it.

But those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31

2016, I’m over you!

Typically, I couldn’t care less about a calendar year and don’t anticipate much a new one. But this year, I feel like I should ceremoniously rip December from my desk calendar and prominently place January 2017 where everyone can see it’s shiny newness.

Poor 2016. It’s not your fault.

It’s just that I walked through a whole lot of hurt with a whole lot of my favorite people. Including myself. The sudden and mysterious death of a parent. The death of an old friend. Divorce. The break-off of an engagement. Serious injury. Financial strain. And my personal experience of losing a very close decades-old friendship that I thought would last a lifetime.

Maybe you were dealt a similar hand this year and you can relate.

Hurt.

I could easily feel helpless walking through all of that. And I did. I still do, sometimes. But looking back I can see who I was in January 2016 and who God has stretched and molded me into using all of those trials. If 2016 has anything going for it it’s that I learned more than I ever have about leaning into Jesus for my healing, guidance and strength. I am humbled beyond measure by His mercy and grace and I am learning to set aside the idols that get in the way of His will for my life.

I have been beaten down, bruised and broken.  But never abandoned. Even in the midst of all the hurt I never felt my Savior let go of me. Even on the days when my grief was crippling, I learned to focus on the One who was calling to me among the crashing waves. Every day is a new lesson in remembering to clothe myself in the full armor of God, but trusting Him to be the one to fight my battles.

One word to change my life for 2017

2016 was the toughest year for me emotionally that I can remember. But I wouldn’t trade it in for anything.  I know when I am under fire it’s because I am being refined like metal. All my impurities will melt away transforming me into something more precious.  I am promised an abundant life in Christ and it is in Him that I choose to stay.

Perhaps you are one of many people who will choose a word to guide you through a new year.  I chose ‘intentional’ for my word in 2016. I had a much different idea of the word at the beginning of the year! I thought it would help me build intentional relationships with others. Instead, I found myself being intentional with my prayers, my quiet time, my thoughts and putting on that armor every. Single. Day. Or trying to.

I didn’t give much thought to my word for 2017, but I didn’t need to. God promises that he will work all things for my good and bless my abundant life. Heartbreak is never easy and no one asks for it, but sometimes God allows us to walk through it for the ‘soul’ purpose of getting to know Him better and learning to trust Him more.

That is why my word for 2017 is TRUST

Trust that He will never leave me nor forsake me. (Deuteronomy 31:6)

Trust that He will deliver His promise for good. (Romans 8:28)

Trust that His dreams for me are way better than anything I could imagine for myself. (Ephesians 3:20)

Trust Him to heal me and to restore me. (Psalm 147:3)

Trust that the journey He brought me through in 2016 has prepared me for His plan in 2017 and beyond. (Jeremiah 29:11)

I never thought I’d be thankful for my heartbreak or that I would ever be able to turn my hurt into praise. Still, some days are easier than others.  But it’s because of those promises in Scripture that I am able to find hope. In good times and in bad. So, while I know my journey isn’t over (I am still breathing after all), and I know that the year is long, I can feel the Lord’s strength within me and that still small voice cheering me on through His sustaining power in 2017!

Let me start by saying that I know this will sound like I think I got it goin’ on. I know. But that is exactly why I have to tell you about it. Sometimes the things that seem the craziest are the very stories we keep to ourselves. And that is the very moment when the enemy wins.  When we don’t share our ‘God winks’, we stiffle the glory that God deserves. The glory that makes those moments even possible.

It hasn’t rained here in my sweet-home Alabama town in many weeks.  We are in a burn ban drought emergency situation.  That is a bit unusual for this neck of the woods.  My house has settled so badly that there is a very large crack in our foundation that will need some serious attention.  Many homes in our neighborhood are experiencing the same thing.

My husband and I were talking about the situation last night and as we were getting ready to go to sleep I said aloud,

“I wish it would rain.”

That’s when the Spirit reminded me that wishing and praying are two totally different things.  One works. The other doesn’t.

I realized I had not prayed about the situation at all.  Not even once had I asked God for rain. So I took a moment and silently prayed for some rain.

Amen.

This is the part where you might think that I am a bit full of myself.  At the very least you might label me a Jesus freak, but I am ok with that one!

I was in the bathroom getting ready for church this morning when my husband came in to tell me that it was raining. Rain was not in the forecast for days! Zero percent chance!

Unless of course you prayed for some rain. Because God is in the business of answering prayers.

Now, it didn’t rain for hours and it wasn’t a gully washer. It was just enough for people to notice, puddle up and for me to be           awe-inspired by my God while He taught me a lesson about prayer. Which is exactly His point!

Have farmers been praying for rain for weeks? No doubt!

Are their prayers being unanswered? No.

I’m here to tell you that God still answers prayers every single day. Prayers for health and healing. Prayers for mended relationships and healthier finances. Prayers for your children to grow up and thrive. He answers each one, every single one, for our good and for His glory in His time.

I don’t know why He is allowing a drought in my region.  I don’t know what He is accomplishing through it.  But I do know it’s for the good of all who know Him.  And He’s teaching us all something through it if we will just pray and listen.

I also know that as crazy as His immediate response to my simple prayer for rain sounds, if I keep silent on my glimpse of His provision today and how He answered my prayer, and how He hears even me. Sinful, hurting, disobedient little me, the lesson He is trying to teach me about prayer will be lost and His glory won’t shine.

So, thank you, Lord for hearing my prayer and for sending the rains to replenish the earth.

“If you believe, you will recieve whatever you ask for in prayer.” Matthew 21:22

How has God shown you He’s listening lately? I’d love to hear from you. Comment below if you’d like to share.