Letter to my DaughterIt’s Mother’s Day. But I can’t stop thinking about you, my sweet daughter. Being a girl is a tough job.  I can’t stop thinking about how life for you must be so difficult. I forget that sometimes.  I forget what it was like to be a girl  and growing up with crazy hormones, stupid boys, mean girls and math class. I forget what it’s like to be insecure in your own skin with so many questions about the future.

But I can remember. And I want you to know that the choices you make today matter tomorrow. So choose wisely, dear daughter.

The world is so different from when I was your age, but the worries are the same. I can still hear the harsh words spoken to me by girls who  were just as insecure as I was. I wish you could understand now and not later that those who hurt you are often the ones who are hurting. So love them now. They need it now.

Choose to love.

I wish you would believe me when I tell you how beautiful you really are. Because I see you comparing yourself to other girls. Why? There is no comparison to you, my sweet love. No one else has your sense of humor, your laughter, your ideas, your hair or your smile.  Those are yours to cherish forever as your own. Flaunt them. Don’t hide them! You are so beautifully unique it would be a shame to hide who you are from the rest of us who wish we had been braver when we were young.

Choose to be brave.

Life is so strange sometimes. There will be times when you just won’t be able to see your way through the weeds. I want you to know that I am here for those times. I’m here because I’ve been there. My heart has been broken. My hopes have been dashed. I’ve been disappointed, let down, forgotten. I’ve loved and lost. I wish you could see those invisible scars because they are what drive me every day to be a better mother. I wish I could tell you that you don’t have to go through those hurts. But you do. This life hurts. It’s ugly. It leaves you wishing for the next sometimes. But what you don’t know yet is that pushing through the pain only makes you stronger. Don’t resist the hurt. It’s ok to hurt. Learn to persevere and lean on your Savior through the hurt.

Choose to persevere

Most importantly, whatever your choices,  I will love you through them all. It’s a privilege – this big ole’ job God gave me to be your mom. It’s the most gut-wrenching emotional thing I have ever done. It’s the biggest responsibility I’ve ever had. But there is no way I would ever give it up!

Maybe one day you will have your own gorgeous gift from heaven and you will wish you could tell her all will be ok because you’ve been through it. Maybe then you will have a better idea of my undying love for you. Until that day be the girl God created and not come fabricated notion you saw only God knows where. Be genuine. Be gentle.  Choose to live your life in such a way that others seek to find you. Embrace your flaws. Sharpen your strengths. Forgive others. And if you ever need me, I’ll be right here cheering for you.



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Bethany Donham

Bethany E. Donham is married to her high school sweetheart and the mother of two beautiful teenage girls. She is a full time Minister to Preschoolers and Families, but has a passion for guiding others to see the world with a Biblical perspective through her writing.

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