It was one of those experiences that I knew would be awesome, but I didn’t expect it to be quite that intense. A quick recap for those just joining. I love the outdoors. It’s truly my happy place and where I hear God most clearly. He’s taught me dozens of lessons using His own creation. This last one was the most multi-faceted thus far, and I want to try and convey parts of it to you.

In my nearly 44 years on Earth, I have never made the intentional effort to sit and watch the sun rise. While I love the outdoors, I love it more in the evening, y’all. A morning person I am not!

So, one morning, while staying in a cabin atop a mountain, I finally paused and witnessed the day dawning. God revealed more to me in a single sunrise than He has allowed me to clearly understand in a very long time. No doubt it helped that I literally came to the table with an expectant heart and open hands ready to receive. I’ve learned that short periods of solitude are essential for my spiritual, mental and emotional clarity. A pray-cation. Isolation and quarantine are not at all the same, my friends. Not even close.

So, there I was on the mountain-top. Just me, God and the sun. Well, the sun got there a little later, but that’s kinda the point.

Now the Earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. Genesis 1:2

The morning mist was so perfectly placed, as if the Spirit of God was hovering over something barely created. Like a brand new day. A fresh start. A clean slate. A do-over. Mercy. It was a new mercy created and handpicked just for that day. Not the same mercy from yesterday. Nothing left-over. It was made new.

I sat there at that secluded picnic table with a building anticipation. I wasn’t sure exactly when the sun would first breakthrough the oppressive darkness. I started to feel a stirring deep within my soul. I had an excitement for what was about to be revealed and the glory of light piercing the dark. And I couldn’t help but think that this is how we are to live all of our days. Focused and ready for the time, that blink of an eye when the Son will return to claim the ones who love Him.

While we wait for the blessed hope- the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ. Titus 2:13

Who else is waiting for that day with more and more expectation? Especially this year?

As the light began to swell on the horizon, it became more apparent where the sun would appear. I held my breath and began to think of what it will be like to finally see Jesus’ face. My savior, redeemer and friend. The one who makes sense out of all the 2020-ness. I thought of all the heartbreak we’ve all endured over the last several months, the disappointments and rattled schedules. I thought about social unrest, anxiety and conspiracy. All the mistrust, misdeeds and missed opportunities.

And I was so thankful to have Jesus on my side through everything. There’s no way I could have gotten through without Him as my great advocate. My light guiding the way.

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8:12

Sound like the sun to anyone? We must have it to sustain all life on Earth.

And then it happened. The sun burst forth among the darkness and light spilled through the trees. The sky lit up with indescribable colors as light cast out the night and woke up my soul from a deep sleep. I sat in awe for a moment, basking in the glory of something I’ve never seen, but happens every single day. Faithful. Loyal. Beautiful.

So beautiful I couldn’t stop gazing. And yet, there was no way to safely look at it directly.

What a lovely parallel. I find it so marvelous that God finds ways to point us to Himself that are so simple and so complex. The sun is readily available to all mankind. It’s so magnificent, but to look at it directly is impossible. Just like God himself.

He alone is immortal and dwells in unapproachable light. No one has ever seen Him, nor can anyone see Him. To Him be honor and eternal dominion. Amen! 1 Timothy 6:16

I couldn’t see Him. But I could certainly feel His effects. His attributes are obvious in the sunlight. Warm, gentle, exposing truth, steady, brilliant, dependable just to name a few.

I don’t feel I have given the experience justice through words. But isn’t that just His way? Relationships are personal. And there are parts of that moment that are meant to be held between me and my Lord. But I knew I needed to share some of this beauty with all of you. This world is filled with so much ugly it can be overwhelming. If anything, I hope it helps you find Him in the every day things. Like a steady sunrise.

This is why it is said; Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you. Ephesians 5:14

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It was really hard to look at all of your beach vacation pictures this week. I had to cancel my own trip to the beach for this week. It is 2020, after all. Over the last 2 years or so, my husband and I have had to cancel the last two vacations we booked. Neither of those reasons were COVID related. It’s just life. Nothing is to blame. 

Over our 21 years of marriage, we have learned that life is so much sweeter when you learn how to perfect your own lemonade recipe out of life’s lemons. And I kinda think that is what I love the most about us. Our personal lemonade recipe. We like things simple, uncomplicated and peaceful. We work hard to filter out the complicated, stressful, pulpy bits in order to enjoy a smoother, more refreshing lifestyle. 

So when this year’s vacation was cancelled we switched gears and turned inward to our own hometown goodness. We’ve lived here most of our lives and have never taken advantage of the mountain top state park located just 20 minutes from our front porch. So, we booked a cabin for two days. My husband could still go to work, I could still get the solitude my introverted soul craves and we could still gather in the afternoons for some down time. It was a smooth, simple lemonade recipe with lots of sugar.

Now, if you’ve followed me over the years you know that I connect with God the most in the natural world. Outdoors is my happy place. And while it’s true that God is everywhere, I believe that He’s much more tangible among His natural creation. I can almost physically feel Him when I am outside. He’s big and diverse. Outside is big and diverse. He moves. Outside moves. I can’t harness Him and there certainly is no way to harness the wind. To me, it just seems to correlate.

While I am an outside girl, I am not typically an early riser. I am almost ashamed to admit this, but I have never in my nearly 44 years witnessed an actual sunrise. Sure, I’ve been up with my babies as the sun came up, had to be up for early flights, or wrestled all night with insomnia until the first morning light peeked through the blinds. But, I have never made the point to be up to watch the sunrise. When I was a kid, I vividly remember my older brother (an early riser) trying to coerce me to get up to watch the sun rise over the mountain during a family camping trip. I refused. And I refused once more when years later, a friend tried to get me to do the same thing when I spent the weekend with her at her family’s cabin. I value my sleep, y’all.

But I realized this week that our cabin overlooked the Eastern bluff of the mountain. Sunrise side. So when my husband got up early to leave for work on our “vacation”, I decided to go meet with God outside before dawn.

It was one of the most spiritual events in my entire life. God spoke volumes to me during those few brilliant moments. So much so, that I have decided to write an entire blog post about it. If you’d like to read how God uses the sun to point everything back to Jesus, His son, join my other 1,300 subscribers so you won’t miss the post.

In the meantime. Enjoy your vacations, your lemons and the people in your life God gave you to love. Find ways to make the most of this one life. Put God first. Your family second. Ministry and life happens third.

First of all, I need to say thank you to my tribe who has sent messages, prayers and offers to bring my child things she may have forgotten as they are driving through her new college town. Man, you guys are awesome and have made this time in my life so much easier. For everyone else, if you don’t have friends like mine, get you some!

I don’t know why I didn’t expect the tears to linger. We have prayed for this day for two years. She worked hard to get the grades and the scholarships. Saved her money and worked all Summer long. And yesterday we dropped her off at her dream school so she could do great things. We wanted this.

So why am I so sad today? I find myself tearing up at the most random times.

We were so busy all Summer long with the shopping and the planning and a little global pandemic. We finally had a high school graduation ceremony and I barely cried then. Maybe because it was just such a relief to actually get to have one, it was more joyful than tearful. I just didn’t expect to feel so…strange today. It’s an emptiness. Truly as if I left part of my own soul on that college campus.

Isn’t that what parenting is? You pour your whole life into someone else. You dream with them and want what they want. You encourage and love them when no one else will. So, it does seem strange when suddenly everything you’ve done for the entirety of a person’s life changes.

This is the uncharted part and it seems a little scary. I can do scraped knees, name-calling peers, and disappointments about her part in school plays. I can hug that out and make favorite dinners like crazy. I’ve been perfecting that strategy for 18 years. So, maybe it’s a loss of control that I am grappling with. I dunno. Like I said, uncharted.

I don’t know how to not juggle her crazy schedule, or not set her place at the table. I don’t know how to not expect to hear her car driving up the street, or not buy her favorite things at the store. I don’t know how to let her do life without me there.

So, I am just going to try to do what I hope my now college kid will do, and that is to trust God. Those two little words are so easy to say, but so much harder to put into practice. College is hard and life is harder. But there isn’t a single day or moment among all of it that isn’t held firm and secure by our Creator and Father of everything good. Growing is good. Life is good. And I know that my daughter trusted her’s a long time ago to Jesus. He loves her more than I do, which I have a hard time understanding because I just wanna squeeze her so tight and never let go! But that would mean she could never fly and do what she was meant to do.

I’m  just gonna be kind to myself. I’m gonna let myself cry at the turning page, but look forward to seeing what the next chapter holds. Because, if the last one hadn’t been so awesome, I wouldn’t be grieving it’s loss. And I know that because God has been so faithful in the past, He’s gonna rock my socks off in the future.

Well, here we are on day #whoknows of social distancing and lockdown. Tomorrow is Easter and tomorrow no one will be able to go to church. Personally, I think that is great.

In case you haven’t been paying attention for the last month or so, church is still happening in the United States. It just looks very different. Pastors are still preaching, people are still listening and church leaders are still loving. The church is not a building made of brick and mortar. The church is a body made of Jesus-loving people. We still have plenty of those, so there is still plenty of church going on.

But that is not my point.

I have heard so many people say they are disappointed about not being able to go to church on Easter this year. No Easter dresses, no pageants or soul infusing choir numbers. And if you are like me, you even failed at getting a decent basket together for your children. Here in the South we are  even bracing for a dangerous weather day that, no doubt, will put a damper on any shred of home celebrations we have planned.

Again, I think this is great!

Because even in the disappointment of celebrating Easter at home in our pajamas, even in the storms that come our way, Jesus is still alive. It’s never been about flashy services or elaborate baskets. It’s always been about the humility of Christ, His sacrifice and His power over death.

How did the simplicity of what Jesus did for us become such a spectacle? One reason. It was us.

We really can’t help it, I suppose. How is it possible to properly express our love for such a beautiful savior?

But that is not at all what He requires and I dare say they’ve become somewhat of an idol. And if we can’t get our idols out of the way of worshiping the One true God, He has a way of removing them for us. And He won’t stop short of a pandemic, plague, locusts or tornadoes to make it happen.

God is a jealous God. Hear this, ok? He is not at all jealous of you. He created you and sustains everything about you. He has nothing of which to be jealous. He is jealous for you. There is a huge difference in being jealous of someone and their blessings, grace and stature and being jealous for someone’s time and admiration. Exodus 20:5

Your dance mom status.

Your position at church or in your community.

Your job.

The recipe you make every holiday that everyone raves about.

The graduation ceremony for your Senior honor student of whom you are so very proud.

Your church building. Your favorite song during worship.

The travel ball league that keeps you from coming to church.

Easter Sunday with all it’s fanfare.

None of these things are bad or wrong, but all of these things are idols if we put them in front of God. And all of these things have been stripped away for a time. I just can’t help but believe that God’s intention was for us to step back and lean on nothing but Him because if we are worshiping anything other than the God of Jacob we are idolaters.

He’s done us a favor. He’s made us slow down and lose sight of the things that we thought really mattered and focus more on the basics. If we don’t have our traditional Easter service, Jesus still conquered the grave. He’s still alive and always will be.

See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ. Colossians 2:8

We’re not on vacation, and things are serious. But remember back when you were a kid and things were much more simple? You’d come home from school, grab a snack, watch a little TV and then go outside to play until you were called in to dinner. The entire family would sit at the table, have a real conversation and learn things about each other. There was communion there.

After dinner you’d go outside again and maybe play ball with the neighbor kids. Get muddy. Scrape a knee. Medicate your lungs with fresh air. Just before sunset, mom would call you in to get ready for bed. You’d pull on your favorite PJ’s and head to bed. Resting for another day.

Life was simple. Things were easy.

I know not everyone had a picture perfect childhood like this, but I know everyone didn’t used to be so busy. Things didn’t used to be so complicated. Children had time to waste and be creative. Boredom cultivated ingenuity. We didn’t rely on bells and whistles to get us through our days. We had time to think.

We are living in a very uncertain time right now. You may be worried about your finances, your health or your job. You may have to leave your kids to go to work somewhere that puts you and your family at risk. Your loved one may be very ill.

I get all of the serious. I’m praying for all the serious.

But what I also pray for is for you to have more time with your kids. More time to learn their concerns, what excites them and what their questions are. I pray for more time around your table together, bike riding lessons and time enjoying God’s creation. Exploring. I pray mostly for you to have more time to talk about the serious, and weave Jesus into that tapestry of conversation.

I’ve been getting up and going to work every day. I love what I do and the people I serve. I’ve been challenged in my ministry to think of ways to connect with preschoolers and their families when I can’t be with them. But can I just say this? It’s not my job.

When I can’t be with them is when you, Mom and Dad, step in. Which is 160 plus hours a week. I only see them two to three hours. A week. That’s all.

My job is to partner with you as you raise your child. I was never meant to be your child’s sole source for spiritual guidance or entertainment. You should not be relying on the church or anyone else to train your child up in the way he should go. I love finding and sharing resources with you. I love hearing your concerns and praying for you. I love, love, LOVE to hear your feedback when you have a victory too. I love you and your family. I am your #1 fan and your biggest cheerleader as you, mom and dad, raise your preschooler. And I am humbled to stand in the gap when you feel like you have not got it altogether. And I know that during a crisis, you are more likely to feel like you don’t have it altogether.

Sometimes a crisis isn’t always just a crisis. Sometimes a crisis is a reset button to point us back to what really matters.

What really matters to you? Is it your busy life where you can’t allow time to trickle just a little? Is it one more activity to spend fees on, attend meetings for or spend your Saturdays volunteering? Or is it simple lessons of faith? Treasures of hope? The acoustics of time?

I truly believe God is using a virus meant to harm, to turn it into something good. He’s pretty awesome like that. The good of the gift of time. Whether that looks like more time with your family around the Bible, or time with your family outside and unplugged. You’re never going to get these weeks back. Not ever.

We’re not on vacation, and things are serious. So, pause for just a moment. Pray. Trust God. Lean not on your own understanding.

I’m praying for you daily. I’m here for you daily. I love you dearly.

Now, go play with your kids.