Seasons: Trusting The Process

“Is it just me or does Summer seem like it’s taking forever to get here?”  I said this aloud to myself as if I actually expected an answer.

I love Summer! I love the long days. The heat. And the sound of children laughing as they play outside. I love bare feet. Swimming. I love popscicles and sticky fingers. Ice cold glasses of lemonade. Ahhh.

I love eating outside every night and the fragrance of the grill. And lazy afternoons reading on the porch. I love the magic of lightening bugs and the cadence of cicadas screaming through the trees. I even love how down here in the South the air is so heavy sometimes it feels like a cloak. I know I am in the minority with that one.

Living in Alabama most of my life I’ve been spoiled. My favorite season always seems to last the longest of them all, usually showing up the end of March and fighting to hold on till the very end of September. The heat is always the first to show up and always the last to go. But this year, it seems as though it’s been cooler longer than normal. I’m still hanging on to my sweatshirt.

So when I asked myself that question I didn’t really expect an answer. But, I should know that I am never alone and Jesus can whisper at anytime.

“Why do you always do that? Wish your seasons away? Why don’t you ever stop and enjoy the season you are in right now?”

Ok, so those were more questions than they were an answer.

I didn’t have an answer for Him at all. I just shrugged and pulled my blanket up higher around my shoulders.

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I don’t know why I always seem to rush away the spaces I’m in. I have yet to figure out why I am always in such a hurry for my girls to grow up so they can move out of the house, or so I don’t have to keep shuttling them from all their activities or friends houses. And yet, the sight of their beauty as they emerge into women makes me weep. I’m clinging to the last days of elementary school with white knuckles while wishing my eleven -year-old would just grow up and be responsible already!

I’m a paradox.

So I sat there with my blankie around my shoulders and thought of the seasons in my life. So many of them I wouldn’t want to come back around, but I wouldn’t trade them for the world.

There was the season of job loss and a brand new baby. Young-married and broke. I was far from my family and desperately lonely. But it was in that season that I turned back to Jesus and leaned on Him for the first time in years.

There was the season of a lost relationship that I cried over and suffered the heartbreak of realizing that someone I loved with all my heart would never be a part of my life. But in my weakness I found His strength to move on and find lasting godly relationships that push me and don’t hold me back.

There was the season of financial struggle from personal injury. It was so hard to be patient and wait for healing and redemption. But I found it in that season. I also found joy in how creative He is with his provision for my family.

Each one of the seasons in my life I didn’t like always turned over into something better. Something I could never have imagine for myself or my family. It was during each one of those seasons that He was refining me and all for His glory and for my benefit.

Winter must happen in order for me to appreciate Summer.

Right now I feel like I am in a season of growth through obedience. There are things I want in my life that God doesn’t seem to think is right for me. I am trying to learn to let go of those things to make room for what God has in store for me. I feel out of my comfort zone a lot these days. And I’m learning that it’s not about what I want at all. It’s all about living out His purpose for my life. And even at nearly 40 I am still unsure what that is.

I can’t see the end of the season I am in right now. And I find myself wishing it away like I do a chilly evening. I have to trust through obedience that He’s got something even better for me as this season changes. I have to trust that the stuff I think is a pain to deal with is just preparing my path to a sweet Summer day filled with laughter and joy.

Because it is.

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