Submission: Trusting That Their GPS is Working

Sometimes things happen in my every day life and I think to myself that I need to write it down just for the sake of memory. Other times things happen and I know I have to write it down in order to share it. My challenge is writing it down well enough so it makes sense to you.

So, here’s the deal. I’ve been pondering over a simple exchange between my husband and I for days. I was taught a huge lesson in a matter of seconds and I am wondering if I can capture even a fragment of it here. I think I’ll start by just telling the story.

First I need to say that I am electronically challenged. Cell phones break by just sitting in the palm of my hand. Cameras stop working because I looked through the lens. And GPS systems just love to get me lost. In fact, I have gotten us so lost using the GPS that I am no longer allowed to use the GPS. (Think ghetto and graffiti and it won’t be exaggerating).

But I love to take day trips. I love it even more when my husband lets me be the one to drive! And this is where my lesson comes in.

First let me ask you to think about a word: submit.

Got your definition? So, will you submit your resume to be considered for a job? Or, perhaps you will submit to the rules of authority? Either way you are at the mercy of someone else, right? You are looking for approval or giving up your desires for someone other than yourself.

Ok, back to the road trip.

We decided to stay off the Interstate. Life’s more fun when you take the road less traveled. But I had no idea where I was headed. I had never been down that road before and I was counting on my husband to show me the way. Unlike me, he rocks a GPS!

So there he was, focused on the GPS and telling me which way to go. In my mind, I was lost. I was enjoying the thrill and the adventure of the road, but I really had no idea where I was and it made me a little uneasy. We were headed down a little high way when my husband says, “Ok, turn left here!”

“Here?” I said in disbelief. That way led us into a neighborhood and on to an even smaller road which looked less promising than the one we were already on. I almost didn’t follow his instructions thinking that I knew better. I almost just kept going the way I wanted to go. But then I remembered the ghetto I landed us in when I trusted myself, so I made the left turn. And was reminded of this verse:

I am blessed with a husband whose GPS is not man-made. His GPS is a God-Provided Strength. He knows the way to go because he is always plugged in to his own personal GPS system. I take great comfort in that. Because ‘submit’ isn’t a negative word when you can fully trust the one you are submitting yourself to. If your husband is so connected to his GPS the way he should be, submitting the way we as wives are called to do can be very comforting. If you will read further on in Ephesians it says:

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.” Ephesians 5:25-27

My husband is called to an even bigger task than I. To love me as Christ loved the church! Don’t you know that Christ loved the church so much that he gave up his life for her? All I have to do is trust my husband to guide my ways. There is so much liberation in that!

I turned the music down for a second to answer a question from the backseat. My husband made a comment when I turned it back up to where our ears could have actually started bleeding, so I said, “I’m sorry. I’ll turn it back down.”

“No, it’s ok,” he said. “You’re the one driving.”

Isn’t that they way Christ is? He guides us along the way, but allows us the freedom to be ourselves throughout our journey with Him.

That is what it means to submit. Oh, that I could always remember that!

Cooper, I love you. Thank you for 16 years of guidance. Happy Anniversary!

 

 

 

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A Letter To My Daughter On Mother’s Day

 

Letter to my DaughterIt’s Mother’s Day. But I can’t stop thinking about you, my sweet daughter. Being a girl is a tough job.  I can’t stop thinking about how life for you must be so difficult. I forget that sometimes.  I forget what it was like to be a girl  and growing up with crazy hormones, stupid boys, mean girls and math class. I forget what it’s like to be insecure in your own skin with so many questions about the future.

But I can remember. And I want you to know that the choices you make today matter tomorrow. So choose wisely, dear daughter.

The world is so different from when I was your age, but the worries are the same. I can still hear the harsh words spoken to me by girls who  were just as insecure as I was. I wish you could understand now and not later that those who hurt you are often the ones who are hurting. So love them now. They need it now.

Choose to love.

I wish you would believe me when I tell you how beautiful you really are. Because I see you comparing yourself to other girls. Why? There is no comparison to you, my sweet love. No one else has your sense of humor, your laughter, your ideas, your hair or your smile.  Those are yours to cherish forever as your own. Flaunt them. Don’t hide them! You are so beautifully unique it would be a shame to hide who you are from the rest of us who wish we had been braver when we were young.

Choose to be brave.

Life is so strange sometimes. There will be times when you just won’t be able to see your way through the weeds. I want you to know that I am here for those times. I’m here because I’ve been there. My heart has been broken. My hopes have been dashed. I’ve been disappointed, let down, forgotten. I’ve loved and lost. I wish you could see those invisible scars because they are what drive me every day to be a better mother. I wish I could tell you that you don’t have to go through those hurts. But you do. This life hurts. It’s ugly. It leaves you wishing for the next sometimes. But what you don’t know yet is that pushing through the pain only makes you stronger. Don’t resist the hurt. It’s ok to hurt. Learn to persevere and lean on your Savior through the hurt.

Choose to persevere

Most importantly, whatever your choices,  I will love you through them all. It’s a privilege – this big ole’ job God gave me to be your mom. It’s the most gut-wrenching emotional thing I have ever done. It’s the biggest responsibility I’ve ever had. But there is no way I would ever give it up!

Maybe one day you will have your own gorgeous gift from heaven and you will wish you could tell her all will be ok because you’ve been through it. Maybe then you will have a better idea of my undying love for you. Until that day be the girl God created and not come fabricated notion you saw only God knows where. Be genuine. Be gentle.  Choose to live your life in such a way that others seek to find you. Embrace your flaws. Sharpen your strengths. Forgive others. And if you ever need me, I’ll be right here cheering for you.

Love,

Mom

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Dead End Monday

dead end sign and blue skyProbably my favorite thing to do is drive. I love to feel the power and control of my little red Honda CR-V. I’ve actually named him. Harvey.

I don’t really like to actually go anywhere. I just like to wander.  Besides, if I were to actually go somewhere that would mean that I would have a good idea of where I am headed. That certainly is not the case! For me it truly is all about the ‘getting there’ and not so much the ‘arrival.’ I love to pass by people’s houses and wonder how life is treating them. I wonder if they choose to live there or if they feel trapped. I wonder if they are getting ready for work, expecting someone to call or if they are waiting for someone to come and visit. Maybe they are wishing they could wander too.  There is so much life that happens as we pass by every day. I just like to appreciate it.

So, I was out wandering yesterday morning before work. My regular commute is less than 3 minutes which does not fuel my wandering spirit at all. It’s a straight shot from my house to my job. No turns and only 3 lights. Most days that’s ok because of carpool duty and life in general. But it’s not my carpool week! (And I hear all the moms in the world do a little cheer for me!) I decided that I would take the long way to work.

The long way just means, “wander till I get there on time.” So, there I was on a Monday morning driving like everyone else heading to work, but I was going against the flow of traffic. Away from busy. I just drove. And everything was moving along. I was singing and just enjoying my music. I had about 10 minutes before I was scheduled at work so I turned to head back.

The very moment I did traffic came to a stand still. I was suddenly engulfed in the rest of the world. All of them trying to get to the same place at the same time. My wandering was over and I suddenly switched in to really-need-to-be-somewhere mode. It seemed like there must have been a wreck up ahead or a stalled vehicle. Traffic was not moving. I really didn’t want to have to drive through whatever was slowing everything down.

So, I decided I knew a better way around this mess. I pulled out of traffic and headed down an unfamiliar side street. And wouldn’t you know, straight in front of me was a big sign in yellow and black that read, “DEAD END.” I laughed out loud to myself. Of course it was! Because I was now in a hurry to be somewhere. I was actually arrogant enough to think the sign didn’t apply to me and that I would be able to find my way around this dead end. So I just kept going. But, just like I had been warned, there was no where else for me to go. I had no choice but to turn around and go back in the only direction that was going to get me where I needed to be.

And then God chuckled like He so often does when it comes to me. It was almost as if I could hear him say, “Child. Why do you always do that? You’ll be driving along just fine in your life singing and praising. Then, when things look rough you suddenly feel the need for a detour. You get anxious and veer off so fast before you even know what the problem might be. All you end up with is a dead end. Just stay on the path that I have set before you and you will arrive exactly on time.”

I sighed because, as always, He was right.

As I continued driving, I realized there was no wreck or stalled vehicle. There was no danger in front of me. But the truth is that even if there had been something in my way the path marked out before me is the safest place to be.

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